What girls say really mean .. .

She says: "I don't want to ruin our friendship."What she means: I am not attracted to you, or I don't feel enough chemistry to date you -- but I do like you as friend.
Why she does this: She probably does want to remain friends, but doesn't want to hurt your feelings by admitting that she doesn't feel the same attraction for you.
What you should do: Don't take it personally; she just doesn't feel the same chemistry as you do. Take the hint and work on being friends with her, if that's what you want.
She says: "I'm just so busy with work right now." What she means: I am not interested in fitting you into my schedule.
Why she does this: She wants to let you down easy. Instead of being blunt, she is hoping you'll just get the picture.
What you should do: When a woman likes a man, she will always find time for him -- no matter what her schedule is like. So don't kid yourself into thinking that the situation might change. Instead, move on right away.
She says: "Are you seeing anyone right now?" What she means: I might like to submit an application for the position of your girlfriend.
Why she does this: She wants to make sure she is not wasting her precious flirting energy on a man who is already spoken for.
What you should do: Answer honestly, and then hit her up for her phone number

She says: "Do you really want to go to that restaurant/movie/dinner party?" What she means: I really don't want to go to.
Why she does this: She doesn't want to go, but she doesn't want to appear stubborn either. She is probably hoping you'll sense her hesitation and come up with an alternate plan that pleases her.
What you should do: If you have your heart set on going to that particular destination, stick to your guns. Otherwise, you might want to switch up in order to please her. Remember this: If you keep her happy, she'll keep you happy.
She says: "You have a knack for dealing with kids. They really seem to respond to you." What she means: I am contemplating eventually having children with you and am wondering where you stand in that department.
Why she does this: An indirect question is her way of feeling you out without freaking you out.
What you should do: Don't freak out. She is probably thinking very distantly into the future (yes, women do this). If, however, you absolutely positively know that you never want kids, this would be a good time to say it.
She says: "Where is this relationship going?" What she means: I would like us to graduate to a more serious, exclusive relationship.
Why she does this: She wants you to be the one to suggest exclusivity.
What you should do: This depends on whether or not you actually want exclusivity. If so, suggest it. If not, let her know that you care about her, but are not interested in being exclusive right now.
She says: "I feel so close to you right now. You know me so well." What she means: I am starting to feel the l-word, but I don't want to be the first to say it.
Why she does this: It's a scary thing to be the first to say "I love you." It's much easier for her to hint and hope that you'll take the plunge first.
What you should do: Do not -- under any circumstances -- say the l-word if you don't mean it. If you do feel it, then go ahead; otherwise, don't say anything. In the long run, you'll be happy not to get entangled in such a lie.
She says: "I feel like our relationship is stuck in a routine right now." What she means: I want you to be more romantic and spontaneous, and surprise me more. I need you to pay more attention to my needs.
Why she does this: She doesn't want to hurt your feelings and admit that you are, in part, the cause of the rut.
What you should do: You don't need to change your personality entirely, but it wouldn't kill you to surprise her every once in a while. Call her out of the blue and tell her you're taking her for dinner, go on a spontaneous weekend away, or just surprise her with

She says: "A man was flirting with me all night." What she means: Does it make you jealous?
Why she does this: She wants you to know that she's a hot commodity and that other men are interested in her. She wants you to appreciate what you have.
What you should do: Don't respond to it in a way she'll expect, like by getting angry or jealous. Instead, pay her a compliment -- she's definitely fishing for it. Don't get all insane with jealousy; just let her know what she means to you, or else she'll be playing this card every so often to set you straight.
She says: "Do you get along well with your mother?" What she means: Are you a family man?
Why she does this: A man who gets along with his mother tends to be more loyal, sensitive and devoted -- at least that's the stereotype that a lot of women buy into.
What you should do: Talk about how close you and your mother are; you could even tell a couple of stories. Just enough to affirm that yes, you get along with her.

She says: "I'm just not ready to make a commitment." What she means: I'm not ready to commit to you, and may never be.
Why she does this: She uses this tactic to soften the blow; nine times out of 10, this means that she doesn't see a future with you... ever.
What you should do: Don't stick around until she's ready to make a commitment. Chances are, when she's finally ready, it won't be with you.
She says: "I think we should stay friends." What she means: I am trying to cut you out of my life gradually.
Why she does this: She thinks it would be easier to gradually stop seeing you instead of going cold turkey. She may even want to keep you around as a backup.
What you should do: Stay friends if you like. But don't let yourself become the backup guy. If she wants to get back together down the line, ask yourself if she's only doing it because she hasn't found anyone else.

Laws For Men & Women

15 Laws for Women
15 Laws for Women


1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.
2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.

3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all
up there.

4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.

5. Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.

6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you
can tell them apart.

7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to
make some woman miserable.

8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself
types.

9. Best way to get a man to do something - suggest they are too old for
it.

10. Love is blind - but marriage is a real eye-opener.

11. If you want a committed man - look in a mental hospital.

12. The children of Palestine wandered around the desert for 40 years.
Even in biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.

13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him
checkbooks.

14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it
means that you laugh at his.

15. Sadly, all men are created equal.

Reply Your SMSs

Jane is a typical college girl who enjoys life to the fullest. She
loves her
    boyfriend so much and texts him very now and then. Mark is Jane's
boyfriend
    who works in a call centre in LA. He's always busy doing so many
things. He only
    manages to reply to Jane's texts when he got off from work.


    One time mark receives a message from Jane: "hi baby! How are you?
i miss
    you!  Call my house when u get home. Take care! I love you!"


    Mark ignored the message because he always receive the same
message
whenever
    it is time for him to go home from work.
    "Baby, i miss you. Did you eat yet?! Take care when you get home!
ill be
    waiting for your call. I love you!"

    "Baby, where are you?!  Its unfair that you don't reply to my
texts... well,
    I'm just gonna wait for your call..I love you!"


    Mark reaches home and lay on his bed. The last time he knew is
that
he's
    reading Jane's text. He was so tired he fall asleep and wasn't
able
to return Jane's call.
    He can still hear his phone beeps but he's too tired to take a
glimpse on the message.


    When he woke up the next day, he remembers that he needs to call
Jane.
    He ignored the messages and dialed Jane's. No one's answering in
her house.
    He called up her cellphone and he was surprised that her father
answered the
    call.
    In his voice you can feel his tears and hear his heart tearing
apart.
    "Mark, why havent you called?. Jane was waiting for your call all
night!"
    "Dad im sorry. I fell asleep being so tired from work... I was
calling your
    house but no one was answering. where are you? so I can come
over."
    "Just meet me at Jane's house."


    Mark went to Jane's house and much to his surprised he saw a lot
of
people
    inside. The house was so lighted but you can see the gloom on
every
person
    you'll meet there. He was greeted by Jane's mom on tears. She hug
him tight
    and cried on his shoulders.
    "Jane was waiting for you. She didn't come with us because she was
waiting
    for your call. She was killed by robbers that broke in our house.
She's gone,
    Mark She's gone."  "That's impossible..she texted me..how could
this happen!"


    Mark can't look who's inside the coffin. He can't move and it
feels
like his
    whole body is stuck on the chair he is seating on. He wanted to
cry
but it
    seems that something is blocking his tears to fall down. He turned
to his
    phone and read the messages of Jane.


    "Baby, I'm not coming with my mom and dad.. I'm just gonna wait
for
your call.."


    "Baby. im so scared... it seems like there's someone downstairs..
Please call
    me now!"


    "Baby. Someone's here.. They might kill me...Please call me now,
where are you?
    I need you here..."


    "Baby.... i love you!..."  He wanted to shout and cry so loud.
It's
true that Jane is
    waiting for his call. Up to her last breath she only thinks about
him. He stared at Jane
    inside the coffin. Suddenly tears starts flowing down his cheeks.
He can't say
    anything. The only words he uttered...


    "My baby, I'm so sorry! I could have known, I could have fought
for
you! I'm really sorry!
    I love you so much!"

Equations of Relationships

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a
little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to
understand her at all.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more
willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and
cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing
the same thing to them at funerals.

8 Types of Guys Women Avoid

1. The Needy Guy
He is overly emotional and shares all his feelings with her right away. The Needy Guy also doubts himself and needs constant reassurance about his relationship, work and friendships.

Why he is so unappealing: Confidence and independence are very sexy traits in a man -- insecurity and dependence are not. Most women look for a strong partner they can lean on. So if you are always leaning on her -- especially in the early stages of a relationship -- she might doubt your ability to do this. And since women tend to come into relationships with all sorts of insecurities, she won't want to deal with yours as well as her own.

What to do if you're that guy: Timing is everything, so you just need to keep your feelings in check at the beginning of the relationship. Try to hold off on sharing all your feelings or divulging your insecurities. Once you are far enough along in the relationship, you can share as much as you want. By that point, she'll appreciate knowing what's on your mind.

2. The Predictable Guy
Women don't like the Predictable Guy because they know exactly how he'll react to everything. He follows formulas and never wants to do anything differently. For example, he'd never surprise a woman by spontaneously taking her out for the night.

Why he is so unappealing: Women look for a certain amount of unpredictability in a man -- they want a free spirit. This is why some women seem to be drawn to the notorious "bad boy." It's not that they are drawn to his badness exactly, but rather to his unpredictability.

What to do if you're that guy: You don't have to be "bad" or a completely free spirit to win her over. But try to mix things up -- particularly at the beginning of a relationship. Call her and tell her you want to go to the countryside for the day, or for an impromptu meal. After she gets to know you, she won't mind as much if you slip back into your routine a bit. But don't forget to continue to surprise her once in a while -- doing so will keep the relationship fresh.

3. The Arrogant Guy
He has a huge ego and he's condescending. He is also rude -- not necessarily to her, but to anyone he perceives as beneath him. And that's just as bad as being rude directly to her.

Why he is so unappealing: A woman often looks at how a man treats other people to assess his personality. So even though you might be nice to her on a date, she'll be paying attention to how you act with other people too.

What to do if you're that guy: No woman wants to be talked down to, so I shouldn't have to tell you to shed the ego when you are dealing with her directly. But in order to really impress her, you need to treat everyone around you with a certain amount of respect -- because she'll be watching.

4. The Boorish Guy
The Boorish Guy doesn't try to hide the fact that he's checking out other women while in her presence; he flirts with the waitress and he even goes as far as to brag about his past conquests. Overall, he lacks respect for women.

Why he is so unappealing: Not only is this type of behavior infuriating, it can also be bad for a woman's self-esteem. If you act like this when you are first getting to know a woman, you won't stand a chance.

What to do if you're that guy: If you can't curb this kind of behavior permanently, then you at least have to keep it in check when making a first impression. Keep your flirting and wandering eyes at bay -- and maybe eventually it'll become a habit. Because, truthfully, if you introduce this kind of behavior into a relationship at any point, she won't be pleased.

5. The Cheap Guy
He invites a woman to dinner and then subtly suggests they go Dutch. He never splurges to buy her flowers and he always opts for the cheapest wine. He makes her feel like they're on a tight budget from the very first date.

Why he is so unappealing: Your first few dates should always be carefree; the words "saving" and "budget" shouldn't come up. If she spends the first date picturing a lifetime of penny-pinching with you, you're out of luck.

What to do if you're that guy: Loosen up the purse strings a little when you're courting a woman. You don't need to spend a fortune to make a good impression, but you do need to make her feel like she's special. Flowers are a nice touch once in a while.

6. The Arguer
This type of guy turns every conversation into an argument. When he takes a woman out, he makes her feel like she's in debate class rather than on a date. And in doing so, he makes her feel defensive and self-conscious.

Why he is so unappealing: A date should be a pleasant experience, but if she's on the defensive the whole time, she will not be enjoying herself. Remember this: Constant arguing and debating is a stress -- and you certainly don't want her to associate you with a stressful experience.

What to do if you're that guy: Most importantly, relax. If you are this type of guy, you probably revert to debating because you are nervous or unsure of what to say. So before the date, brainstorm conversation topics and questions you can ask her. That way, you won't be as likely to revert to arguing during lulls in the conversation.

7. The Self-Righteous Guy
This guy is very judgmental of others. He probably doesn't drink or smoke, and he doesn't hesitate to tell others to follow suit. From the very first date, he'll preach to a woman, telling her she shouldn't drink wine or get dessert.

Why he is so unappealing: No one wants to be judged, especially on a date. She'll just find it annoying and rude.

What to do if you're that guy: You can preach a little once you are actually in a relationship. But until that point, her drinking, smoking and dessert-eating habits are none of your business.

8. The Misogynist
This guy makes no secret of his bitterness toward women. On a date, he can't help but exude negativity toward his companion and the entire female gender by making rude and insulting comments.

Why he is so unappealing: This is the only type of behavior on this list that is, in fact, a total deal-breaker. And it's not surprising. What woman do you know that would like to be in a relationship with a man like this?

What to do if you're that guy: You need to reconsider your attitude if you are this type of guy. This type of behavior is not only rude and nasty, it is often the last straw in breaking up a relationship.

be the amazing guy

Don't stress out too much if you see yourself on the list above. But do remember this: These are behaviors that women look out for at the beginning of a relationship. So if you want to put your best foot forward and make a good impression, study the list and make sure to keep these female-unfriendly behaviors to a minimum.

Lessons of Life (4 Seasons)

Lessons on Life

There was a man who had four sons. He wanted his sons to learn not to judge
things too quickly. So he sent them each on a quest, in turn, to go and look
at a pear tree that was a great distance away.

The first son went in the winter, the second in the spring, the third in
summer, and the youngest son in the fall.

When they had all gone and come back, he called them together to describe
what they had seen.

The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted.

The second son said no it was covered with green buds and full of promise.

The third son disagreed; he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so
sweet and looked so beautiful, it was the most graceful thing he had ever seen.

The last son disagreed with all of them; he said it was ripe and drooping
with fruit, full of life and fulfillment.

The man then explained to his sons that they were all right, because they
had each seen but only one season in the tree's life.

He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a person, by only one season,
and that the essence of who they are and the pleasure, joy, and love that come
from that life can only be measured at the end, when all the seasons are up.

If you give up when it's winter, you will miss the promise of your spring,
the beauty of your summer, fulfillment of your fall.


Moral lessons:

Don't let the pain of one season destroy the joy of all the rest.

Don't judge life by one difficult season.
Persevere through the difficult patches and better times are sure to come some time or later

The Power of Puntiations

An English professor wrote the words,

"A woman without her man is nothing"

on the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly.

All the males in the class wrote: A woman, without her man, is nothing.

All the females in the class wrote: "A woman: without her, man is nothing.

Poem To Friend

For those tired of the usual "friend" poems, here's a touch of reality.

When you're sad, I'll get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the scum-sucking bitch who made you sad.

When you're blue, I'll try to dislodge whatever's choking you.

When you smile, I'll know you finally got laid.

When you're scared, I'll rag you about it every chance I get.

When you're worried, I'll tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining.

When you're confused, I'll use little words to explain it to your dumb ass.

When you're sick, stay away from me until you're well again. I don't want whatever you have.

When you fall, I'll point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

Love is not always perfect

From the very beginning, the girl's family objected strongly on her
dating this guy. Saying that it has got to do with family background &
that the girl will have to suffer for the rest of her life if she were
to be with him. Due to family's pressure, the couple quarrel very
often. Though the girl love the guy deeply, but she always ask him:
"How deep is your love for me?" As the guy is not good with his words,
this often cause the girl to be very upset. With that & the family's
pressure, the girl often vent her anger on him. As for him, he only
endure it in silence.

After a couple of years, the guy finally graduated & decided to further
his studies in overseas. Before leaving, he proposed to the girl: "I'm
not very good with words. But all I know is that I love you. If you
allow me, I will take care of you for the rest of my life. As for your
family, I'll try my best to talk them round. Will you marry me?" The
girl agreed, & with the guy's determination, the family finally gave in
& agreed to let them get married. So before he leave, they got engaged.
The girl went out to the working society, whereas the guy was overseas,
continuing his studies. They sent their love through emails & phone
calls. Though it's hard, but both never thought of giving up.

One day, while the girl was on her way to work, she was knocked down by
a car that lost control. When she woke up, she saw her parents beside
her bed. She realized that she was badly injured. Seeing her mum
crying, she wanted to comfort her. But she realized that all that could
come out of her mouth was just a sigh. She has lost her voice......

The doctors says that the impact on her brain has caused her to lose
her voice. Listening to her parents' comfort, but with nothing coming
out from her, she broke down. During the stay in hospital, besides
silence cry,.....it's still just silence cry that companied her. Upon
reaching home, everything seems to be the same. Except for the ringing
tone of the phone. Which pierced into her heart everytime it rang. She
does not wish to let the guy know. & not wanting to be a burden to him,
she wrote a letter to him saying that she does not wish to wait
any longer. With that, she sent the ring back to him. In return, the
guy sent millions & millions of reply, and countless of phone calls,..
all the girl could do, besides crying, is still crying....

The parents decided to move away, hoping that she could eventually
forget everything & be happy. With a new environment, the girl learn
sign language & started a new life. Telling herself everyday that she
must forget the guy. One day, her friend came & told her that he's
back. She asked her friend not to let him know what happened to her.
Since then, there wasn't anymore news of him. A year has passed & her
friend came with an envelope, containing an invitation card for the
guy's wedding. The girl was shattered. When she open the letter, she
saw her name in it instead. When she was about to ask her friend
what's going on, she saw the guy standing in front of her. He used sign
language telling her "I've spent a year's time to learn sign language.
Just to let you know that I've not forgotten our promise. Let me have
the chance to be your voice. I Love You. With that, he slipped the ring
back into her finger. The girl finally smiled. IF u really like the
story, repost it so that ur frens can read it too......

-don't u just love happy ending- "We come to love not by finding a
perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.

Management Story 2

Management Story 2

It's a fine sunny day in the forest and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out for a walk.

Fox: "What are you working on?"
Rabbit: "My thesis."
Fox: "Hmm... What is it about?"
Rabbit: "Oh, I'm writing about how rabbits eat foxes."

Fox: "That's ridiculous ! Any fool knows that rabbits don't eat foxes!"
Rabbit: "Come with me and I'll show you!"

They both disappear into the rabbit's burrow. After few minutes, gnawing on a fox bone, the rabbit returns to his typewriter and resumes typing.

Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hardworking rabbit.

Wolf: "What's that you are writing?"
Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves."

Wolf: "you don't expect to get such rubbish published, do you?"

Rabbit: "No problem. Do you want to see why?"

The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow and again the rabbit returns by himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to typing.

Finally a bear comes along and asks, "What are you doing?

Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat bears."

Bear: "Well that's absurd ! "

Rabbit: "Come into my home and I'll show you"

Scene : As they enter the burrow, the rabbit introduces the bear to the lion.

Moral:

IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW SILLY YOUR THESIS TOPIC IS; WHAT MATTERS IS WHOM YOU HAVE AS A SUPERVISOR.

Management Lesson
In the context of the working world:

IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW BAD YOUR PERFORMANCE IS; WHAT MATTERS IS WHETHER YOUR BOSS LIKES YOU OR NOT.

Management Story 1

Management Story 1

It's a fine sunny day in the forest and a lion is sitting outside his cave, lying lazily in the sun. Along comes a fox, out on a walk.

Fox: "Do you know the time, because my watch is broken"

Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix the watch for you"

Fox: "Hmm... But it's a very complicated mechanism, and your big claws will only destroy it even more"

Lion: "Oh no, give it to me, and it will be fixed"

Fox: "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that lazy lions with great claws cannot fix complicated watches"

Lion: "Sure they do, give it to me and it will be fixed"

The lion disappears into his cave, and after a while he comes back with the watch which is running perfectly. The fox is impressed, and the lion continues to lie lazily in the sun, looking very pleased with himself.

Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the lazy lion in the sun.

Wolf: "Can I come and watch TV tonight with you, because mine is broken"

Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix your TV for you"
Wolf: "You don't expect me to believe such rubbish, do you? There is no way that a lazy lion with big claws can fix a complicated TV“

Lion: "No problem. Do you want to try it?"

The lion goes into his cave, and after a while comes back with a perfectly fixed TV. The wolf goes away happily and amazed.

Scene : Inside the lion's cave. In one corner are half a dozen small and intelligent looking rabbits who are busily doing very complicated work with very detailed instruments. In the other corner lies a huge lion looking very pleased with himself.

IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY A MANAGER IS FAMOUS; LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES.

IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY SOMEONE UNDESERVED IS PROMOTED; LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES.

The 90/10 Principle Stephen Convey

The 90/10 Principle
Author : Stephen Covey ( Management Guru)


Have you read this before?

Discover the 90/10 Principle. It will change your life (at least the way you
react to situations). What is this principle?
10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how
you react. What does this mean?


We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the
car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which throws our
whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control
over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%. How?


By your reaction. You cannot control a red light., but you can control your
reaction. Don't let people fool you; YOU can control how you react.


Let's use an example.
You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup
of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just what
happened. What happens when the next will be determined by how you react.
You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She
breaks down in tears.

After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing
the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows.
You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your
daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for
school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You
rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you
drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit.

After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at
school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After
arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase.
Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and
worse. You look forward to coming home, When you arrive home, you find
small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.

Why?

Because of how you reacted in the morning. Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?

The answer is " D".


You had no control over what happened with the coffee.
How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day.


Here is what could have and should have happened.

Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say,
"It's ok honey, you just need, to be more careful next time". Grabbing a
towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you
come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting
on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully
greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.


Notice the difference?

Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different.

Why? Because of how you REACTED.

You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90%
was determined by your reaction.


Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle.

If someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge. Let the
attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the negative
comment affect you! React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong
reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out
etc.


How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic?

Do you lose your temper?

Pound on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall
off)

Do you curse?

Does your blood pressure skyrocket?

Do you try and bump them?

WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin
your drive?

Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it.

You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will
work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job.

Bad days follow bad days.

Terrible things seem to be constantly happening. There is constant stress,
lack of joy, and broken relationships. Worry consumes time. Anger breaks
friendships and life seems dreary and is not enjoyed to the fullest. Friends
are lost. Life is a bore and often seems cruel. Does this describe you? If
so, do not be discouraged..


You can be different!

Understand and apply the 90/10 principle.

It CAN change your life.........!!!!!!!

The Shower Test

The Shower Test

When you step into a shower, which part of the body do you wash first?

A. Chest
B. Face
C. Armpits
D. Hair
E. Private
F. Shoulders
G. Others

A. Chest: You are a practical person. Straightforward and do not beat around the bush. To you, convenience is of paramount importance. You hate to be distracted when concentrating and are impatient with people who do not see things your way. A good sex partner and willing to try new things. Your best partner in life will be those who choose D (Hair).

B. Face: Money is important to you and you will do anything to get it. Integrity and dignity is not important. You feel that friends are there to be used and life is one big hassle. Other people find it hard to understand you, but you are not concerned as to what they think. Very self-centered person. Average sex partner as too selfish and tend to be absorbed in self pleasure at the expense of your partner. Your best partner in life will be those who choose E (Private) and G (Others).

C. Armpits: You are a dependable and hard working person. Generally very popular person as you are very down to earth and willing to help others. Tend to get yourself into trouble as you cannot tell whether people are genuine towards you. Make very poor sex partners as you are the working type with average talent. Your best partner in life will be those who choose F (Shoulders).

D. Hair: Artistic type. Daydreaming is your hobby, but you can achieve what most other people cannot. Dedication is lacking, but you will work tirelessly towards goals which are to your liking. Money is not important. Friends are but only intellectuals and fellow artistic types. Make the best sex partners as you are most willing to explore and please ther other partner. Talent is your main strength. Your best partner in life will be those who chose A (Chest) and E (Private).

E. Private Shy type. You lack self confidence and tend to be bullied by others. You do not have lots of friends as others find you boring and unattractive. Perserverance is not your strength and you tend to give up easily and at the first opportunity. However, you make an above average sex partner. You are able to show your true emotions to very few people. Hence in sex, you find your inner strengths. Your best sex partner in life will be those who choose B (Face) and D (Hair).

F. Shoulder: A born loser. You fail in everything that you do. People dislike you and you tend to spend your time alone. Your type have been known to be heavy gamblers and drinkers. You see the world as a living hell. Money and power is also important to you. But your luck will always fail you. You make a lousy sex partner. You will find it difficult to find a partner in life. Those who choose C (Armpits) are your only chance.

G. Others: You are a very average person. Undoubtedly, you have your inner strengths, but people find it hard to see. You must learn to be a little bit more adventurous and see your potential. Deep down, you are very likeable person with very few faults. However, the key will be to make your strengts stand out and not just hide your weaknessess. You are an average sex partner. You have great fantasies about different techniques, but unfortunately are not brave enough to try them out. Your best partner in life will be those who choose B (Face).

Cup & Water - Life

A group of working adults got together to visit their University
lecturer. The Lecturer was happy to see them. Conversation soon turned
into complaints about stress in work and life.

The Lecturer just smiled and went to the kitchen to get an assortment of
cups - some porcelain, some in plastic, some in glass, some plain
looking and some looked rather expensive and exquisite.

The Lecturer offered his former students the cups to get drinks for
themselves.

When all the students had a cup in hand with water, the Lecturer spoke:
"If you noticed, all the nice looking, expensive cups were taken up,
leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal that you
only want the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems
and stress. What all you wanted was water, not the cup, but we
unconsciously went for the better cups."

"Just like in life, if Life is Water, then the jobs, money and position
in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold/maintain Life, but
the quality of Life doesn't change."

"If we only concentrate on the cup, we won't have time to enjoy/taste
the water in it."

Success - People, Place, Tools

Success - "knowing the right people," "being in the right place at the right time," and "using the right tools" - by Anthony Robbins

Your career is not everything; your life is. But then,
what is life without a career or a career without a life?

1) You are always on your own. Even if you work for a big company, you will always be on your own. Companies aren't
people. They're things and they don't have feelings. If you are expecting the company to "take care of you" or "do the right thing", you'll be often
disappointed. There are no strong bonds in a company. No one cares more about your career than you do. Remember that, and don't expect the company to take
care of you.

2) Certain jobs fit certain people best. You do have
special gifts that fit you for some, disqualify you for others. Take time
to assess your skills, temperament and aptitude in depth.

3) Careers are short-term. Your present job can end
anytime, even if you own the company! Therefore, think short term. Don't
take your present career for granted. Someone once described a consultant as a
person who wakes up every morning unemployed. You should feel the same way.
Wake up every morning feeling unemployed so that you'll appreciate
your present job more and figure out what you're going to do next.
Always have a "Plan B." (No kidding!!)

4) It's more important to be a "people person"
than an "achievement-oriented person" who always win at the cost
of others. People skills are more important than technical skills. Even
in technical jobs, you have to deal with someone. The average performer who
are easier to get along with last longer in his job.

5) What you accomplish today will be your calling
card tomorrow. Your accomplishments will determine your marketability. In
marketing yourself, it's the results that count. A soccer forward who
scores in every game is easier to market than one who doesn't. So make sure
you're contributing something substantial and measurable every day. And
make sure you keep a written record of your results, in case you forget!

6) If you lose your job, 80% of your marketing for
a new position is already done. That's right. Your reputation, results,
accomplishments, people skills, contributions, friendships are all a matter
of record. If you've been a contributor, if you've been kind to others and
easy-to-work-with, you'll be in better demand. If not,
you won't. Nobody can create friendship for you if you haven't created it
for yourself.

7) Changing fields, industries, and functional specialties is difficult.
The more difficult it is, the bigger the change will be.
Therefore, choose your career path carefully. As
management expert Peter Drucker says, "The best way to predict the future is to
plan it."

8) If you're fired or laid off, don't sue your former employer. Ask yourself why you didn't see it coming; or if you did see it coming. Ask yourself why you didn't do something about it. Figure out your part in causing the problem. Then set about creating a new, better life for yourself. There is a better life in your future.

9) Don't stay in a job you hate. Hating your job can kill you.

10) Success is difficult. If success were easy, everyone would be successful. It is also a journey, not a destination.

11) There's a special place for everyone. You can create the kind of future you want.

12) The workplace is fun and challenging. It can also be cruel and heartless. It rewards effort and planning, but tends to punish indifference
and lack of preparation. Those who don't manage their careers, who just let things happen - often end up in painful, dead-end jobs
and lifestyles.

13) You are in full control of your own future. No one can deny you a happy life if you decide to plan it and work for it. No one
can stop you from becoming successful, but yourself.

14) It's never too late for a new beginning.

15) Align yourself with winners. Hang around with winners. Success really does rub off from others.
"If you keep doing what you have always been doing, you're going to get what you've always gotten"

Sleeping Styles

What Your Sleeping Style Says About Your Marriage

The Spoon

The Spoon

So close, so safe, this is the most common sleep position for the first three to five years of marriage. "Usually, the man is the embracer," says psychiatrist Samuel Dunkell, M.D., author of Good-bye Insomnia, Hello Sleep, who has been analyzing the body language of sleep for more than 25 years. "When a woman assumes the posterior position, it may indicate she is the more giving partner or that he needs special nurturing." Semifetal, genitals against buttocks, the Spoon provides both of you with maximum physical closeness, though it's not necessarily erotic."Many couples simply find the Spoon a comforting, safe cocoon," explains Shirley P. Glass, Ph.D., a psychologist and marital therapist in Baltimore.

During early marriage, couples tend to maintain the spoon position for much of the night, mirroring each other. "When one person turns, the other follows suit, so that the spoon position is resumed on the opposite side," says Dr. Dunkell. But just because you've been married a while doesn't mean you have to give up this closeness. "When my husband hits the snooze alarm in the morning, it's our cue to spoon until the day can't be postponed any longer," says one woman who just celebrated her seventh wedding anniversary.

The Honeymoon Hug

Face-to-face, the Hug is the Rolls Royce of intimacy. Less common than the Spoon (and uncomfortable to maintain throughout the night), the Hug tends to occur at love's blazing beginning, when you're so deeply enamored you wish you could fuse, or just after lovemaking. Some couples return to it over the years during periods of special joy. And a few refuse to give it up, though, as Elizabeth Flynn Campbell, a New York psychotherapist who specializes in relationship issues, says, "They could be overly enmeshed, too dependent on each other to sleep apart."

What if your husband likes the Hug and you find it stifling? Like other marital issues, sleep positions are negotiable, says Campbell. Try the Hug until he falls asleep, then sneak off to a more comfortable position.

Like Shingles (on a Roof)

One partner (typically the man) lies face up in what Samuel Dunkell, M.D., author of Good-bye Insomnia, Hello Sleep, who has been analyzing the body language of sleep for more than 25 years, calls the "royal" position (bespeaking a strong ego and a sense of entitlement). Although the woman also lies on her back, her head is on his shoulder, suggesting, says Dr. Dunkell, she is the more dependent and compliant partner: "By looking at the world from the same perspective as his, she achieves a strengthening sense of comradeship and protection."

Couples favor this position, which speaks of a strong commitment, early in marriage. "There's a high level of trust here," says Shirley P. Glass, Ph.D., a psychologist and marital therapist in Baltimore. "You're like a turtle on its back, exposing yourself, open to all kinds of touching." If you're not comfortable sleeping faceup, but want the coziness of such proximity, try the Reverse Shingle: Lie facedown, with your body overlapping your husband's. Not only might you sleep better, but you'll be delivering a sweet message: "Psychologically, this represents an attempt to focus total attention on your partner, even in sleep," says Dr. Dunkell.

The Sweetheart's Cradle

This is a more fused version of Shingles, because you're actually being held rather than just supported by an available shoulder. Consequently, this position makes you feel like the recipient of a generous and loving gift, especially if you're going through a time of crisis or special need. "You're literally being brought in under the wing," says Shirley P. Glass, Ph.D., a psychologist and marital therapist in Baltimore. "It's a very nurturing position."

"When I was going through treatments for breast cancer, my husband held me in his arms as we drifted off to sleep," a 35-year-old woman remembers. "Even though we shifted into other positions during the night, we would return to cradling in the early morning hours. I'll always remember how protected and safe I felt."

But there's no reason you must wait for a crisis to try this position. Nor must your husband always do the cradling. Wrapping him in your arms while you talk in bed at night is an intimate way to reconnect after a stressful day. It's also a great position to fall asleep in while watching TV -- no matter who has the clicker.

Loosely Tethered

When love is new, partners will often sacrifice the pleasure of their preferred sleep positions to the rewarding intimacy of couple sleep. Five or so years into marriage, many couples feel secure enough to allow a bit more space -- and comfort -- into their bed. Often, they'll sleep tethered, like Spoons but with distance between them. The emotional current is sustained by a touching hand, knee or foot. "This can be a way of balancing the need for space and the need for closeness," says Shirley P. Glass, Ph.D., a psychologist and marital therapist in Baltimore. "It also diminishes the pressure for sex. It's an affectionate, not sexual, position." Of course, you can get closer whenever you like.

The Leg Hug

Some couples aren't comfortable establishing physical contact directly and need to go about it as if it were almost by chance -- your toes or feet "accidentally" touch, or your leg is casually thrown over his. Although such casual contact could imply that you or your husband are ambivalent about expressing affection or intentionally withholding it -- maybe after a fight -- it may also speak of healthy camaraderie. To Shirley P. Glass, Ph.D., a psychologist and marital therapist in Baltimore, hooked legs suggest familiarity, comfort and a daring quality as well, almost like a secret code. After all, you have to have a pretty strong foundation to assume such physical proprietorship even when you're fighting.

The Pursuit

Sleep positions can reflect passing tensions and discord in a marriage. For example, after a disagreement, your husband may suddenly turn his back and retreat to the far side of the bed in what Samuel Dunkell, M.D., author of Good-bye Insomnia, Hello Sleep, who has been analyzing the body language of sleep for more than 25 years, calls a freeze maneuver. If you then pursue and push up against him in your sleep, that's called Illegal Spooning.

Sometimes, though, the message intended by the person pulling away isn't clear. As Shirley P. Glass, Ph.D., a psychologist and marital therapist in Baltimore, explains: "The partner who distances may actually want to be pursued. His or her distancing becomes an invitation: Will you take the initiative to come closer? Or maybe the partner feels tired of always being the one who initiates the hugs and is thinking, If I snuggle up next to you and you accept it, it's not the same as you coming after me. In this situation, rather than Illegal Spooning, it's a test, a dance of the spoons."

Resist the temptation to treat your sleep styles like a pass-fail exam. Learn how to read your mate's body language as well as your own, but don't jump to conclusions. Sleep positions are a conversation starter, not an instant horoscope.

Zen Style

As time passes in a marriage, the tendency to restore privacy to sleep increases. "As the couple's closeness becomes fully established and less exploratory, a renewed sense of each partner's individuality is likely to arise," says Samuel Dunkell, M.D., author of Good-bye Insomnia, Hello Sleep, who has been analyzing the body language of sleep for more than 25 years. For some couples, that means buying increasingly larger beds to accommodate one or both partners' need for space. Other couples find a compromise in the above position: Touching buttocks allows for large-surface contact and private connection, but without clinging. "Like two circles, separate but overlapping, this position is a perfect definition of interdependence," says Shirley P. Glass, Ph.D., a psychologist and marital therapist in Baltimore. It's good for when the kids have got the best of you with their constant clinging and you need a sense of your own space.

The Cliff-Hanger

When your husband suddenly retreats to the far side of the bed without waiting to see if you give chase, it's tempting to diagnose rejection in that stony back. Should you? Experts stress there is no "good" or "right" sleep position in marriage. "Although any deviation from the usual could indicate a problem, most of marriage is about partners working with each other's vulnerabilities," says Elizabeth Flynn Campbell, a New York psychotherapist who specializes in relationship issues. In other words, rather than worry or steam, try to see what's behind the sudden withdrawal. Anger? Grief? Anxiety? If you know he's going through a trying time, give the man the space -- you'd want the same if you were sad, or stressed, and simply needed to regroup. In time, he'll roll back toward you.

And consider this: Maybe he's finally comfortable enough to admit he'd rather get a good night's sleep away from you than cuddle up together, listening to you snore or grind your teeth. If the distance leaves you lonely, maybe you can suggest that you at least start the night together. If you still sense distance, it may be time to have a heart-to-heart to find out what's really going on.

The Crab

Are you or your husband sleeping in a really peculiar position, maybe sliding halfway off the bed (as if to escape from each other) or ending up head-to-toe (as if you're traveling in different directions)? Pay attention: You or he may be acting out an unacknowledged need to pull away from each other, from the marriage. If you suspect that's the case, a marriage counselor may help you sort out what's going on beneath the surface of your relationship.

But unless there are other signs of discontent, don't assume that a weird new position is a nuclear strike. "Unless there appears to be a power struggle being waged during the night and the day, don't overinterpret," says Shirley P. Glass, Ph.D., a psychologist and marital therapist in Baltimore. "When you sit in a chair or on the sofa, you don't always sit in the same way. Sometimes when we're hurting we want closeness and sometimes we want space." And sometimes we're just very creative in bed.

The Story of the One-Eyed Mother

My mom only had one eye.
I hated her... she was such an embarrassment..
My mom ran a small shop at a flea market.
She collected little weeds and such to sell...
Anything for the money we needed
She was such an embarrassment.
There was this one day during elementary school..
It was field day, and my mom came.
I was so embarrassed. How could she do this to me?
I threw her a hateful look and ran out.

The next day at school...
"Your mom only has one eye?!?!" ..and they taunted me.
I wished that my mom would just disappear from this world
So I said to my mom, "Mom.. Why don't you have the other eye?!
If you're only gonna make me a laughingstock, why don't you just die?!!!"
My mom did not respond..
I guess I felt a little bad, but at the same time, it felt good to think
that I had said what I'd wanted to say all this time..
Maybe it was because my mom hadn't punished me,
but I didn't think that I had hurt her feelings very badly.

That night...
I woke up, and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water.
My mom was crying there, so quietly, as if she was afraid that she might
wake me.
I took a look at her, then turned away.
Because of the thing I had said to her earlier,
there was something pinching at me in the corner of my heart.
Even so, I hated my mother who was crying out of her one eye.
So I told myself that I would grow up and become successful.
Cause I hated my one-eyed mom and our desperate poverty..

Then I studied real hard.
I left my mother and came to Seoul and studied,
and got accepted in the Seoul University with all the confidence I had.

Then, I got married.
I bought a house of my own.
Then I had kids, too..
Now I'm living happily as a successful man.
I like it here because it's a place that doesn't remind me of my mom.

This happiness was getting bigger and bigger, when..

What?!
Who's this?!
...It was my mother...
..Still with her one eye.
It felt as if the whole sky was falling apart on me.
My little girl ran away, scared of my mom's eye.
And I asked her, "Who are you?!"
"I don't know you!!!" as if trying to make that real.
I screamed at her, "How dare you come to my house and scare my daughter!"

"GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!!"

And to this, my mother quietly answered,
"Oh, I'm so sorry. I may have gotten the wrong address,"
and she disappeared out of sight.


Thank good ness... She doesn't recognize me..
I was quite relieved.

I told myself that I wasn't going to care,
or think about this for the rest of my life.
Then a wave of relief came upon me...

One day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house.
So, lying to my wife that I was going on a business trip, I went.
After the reunion, I went down to the old shack,
that I used to call a house... Just out of curiosity

There, I found my mother fallen on the cold ground.
But I did not shed a single tear.
She had a piece of paper in her hand....
It was a letter to me.
"My son...
I think my life has been long enough now..

And... I wont visit Seoul anymore...
But would it be too much to ask if I wanted you
to come visit me once in a while?
I miss you so much.. And I was so glad when I
heard you were coming for the reunion.
But I decided not to go to the school.
....
For you...
And I'm sorry that I only have one eye,
and I was an embarrassment for you.

You see, when you were very little,
you got into an accident, and lost your eye.
As a mom, I couldn't stand watching you
having to grow up with only one eye...
So I gave you mine...
I was so proud of my son that was seeing a whole
new world for me, in my place, with that eye.
I was never upset at you for anything you did..
The couple times that you were angry with me..
I thought to myself, 'It's because he loves me..'

My son... Oh, my son... "

Why Do Talented Employees Leave Companies

Early this year, Arun, an old friend who is a senior software designer, got
an offer from a prestigious international firm to work in its India
operations developing specialized software. He was thrilled by the offer.
He
had heard a lot about the CEO of this
company, charismatic man often quoted in the business press for his
visionary attitude. The salary was great. The company had all the right
systems in place employee-friendly human resources (HR) policies, a
spanking
new office, the very best technology, even a canteen that served superb
food. Twice Arun was sent abroad for training. "My learning curve is the
sharpest it's ever been," he said soon after he joined. "It's a real high
working with such cutting edge technology."

Last week, less than eight months after he joined, Arun walked out of the
job. He has no other offer in hand but he said he couldn't take it anymore.
Nor, apparently, could several other people in his department who have also
quit recently.

The CEO is distressed about the high employee turnover. He's distressed
about the money he's spent in training them. He's
distressed because he can't figure out what happened. Why did this talented
employee leave despite a top salary? Arun quit for
the same reason that drives many good people away.

The answer lies in one of the largest studies undertaken by the Gallup
Organization. The study surveyed over a million employees and 80,000
managers and was published in a book called First Break All The Rules. It
came up with this surprising finding: If you're losing good people, look to
their immediate supervisor. More than any other single reason, he is the
reason people stay and thrive in an organization. And he's the reason why
they quit, taking their knowledge, experience and contacts with them.
Often,
straight to the competition.

"Many times people leave managers not companies," write the authors Marcus
Buckingham and Curt Coffman. "So much money has been thrown at the
challenge
of keeping good people - in the form of better pay, better perks and better
training - when, in the end, turnover is mostly manager issue." If you have
a turnover problem, look first to your managers. Are they driving people
away? Beyond a point, an employee's primary need has less to do with money,
and more to do with how he's treated and how valued he feels. Much of this
depends directly on the immediate manager. And yet, bad bosses seem to
happen to good people everywhere.

A Fortune magazine survey some years ago found that nearly 75 per cent of
employees have suffered at the hands of difficult superiors. You can leave
one job to find - you guessed it, another wolf in a pin-stripe suit in the
next one. Of all the workplace stressors, a bad boss is possibly the worst,
directly impacting the emotional health and productivity of employees.

Here are some all-too common tales from the battlefield: Dev, an engineer,
still shudders as he recalls the almost daily firings his
boss subjected him to, usually in front of his subordinates. His boss
emasculated him with personal, insulting remarks. In the face of such rage,
Dev completely lost the courage to speak up. But when he reached home
depressed, he poured himself a few drinks, and magically, became as abusive
as the boss himself. Only, it would come out on his wife and children. Not
only was his work life in the doldrums, his marriage began cracking up too.

Another employee Rajat recalls the Chinese torture his boss put him through
after a minor disagreement. He cut him off completely. He bypassed him in
any decision that needed to be taken. "He stopped sending me any papers or
files," says Rajat. "It was humiliating sitting at an empty table. I knew
nothing and no one told me anything." Unable to bear this corporate
Siberia, he finally quit.

HR experts say that of all the abuses, employees find public humiliation
the
most intolerable. The first time, an employee may not leave, but a thought
has been planted. The second time, that thought gets strengthened. The
third
time, he starts looking for another job. When people cannot retort openly
in
anger, they do so by passive aggression. By digging their heels in and
slowing down. By doing only what they are told to do and no more. By
omitting to give the boss crucial information.

Dev says: "If you work for a jerk, you basically want to get him into
trouble. You don't have your heart and soul in the job."
Different managers can stress out employees in different ways - by being
too
controlling, too suspicious, too pushy, too critical, too nit-picky. But
they forget that workers are not fixed assets, they are free agents. When
this goes on too long, an employee will quit - often over seemingly trivial
issue.

It isn't the 100th blow that knocks a good man down. It's the 99 that went
before. And while it's true that people leave jobs for all kinds of reasons
- for better opportunities or for circumstantial reasons, many who leave
would have stayed - had it not been for one man constantly telling them, as
Arun's boss did: "You are dispensable. I can find dozens like you." While
it
seems like there are plenty of other fish especially in today's waters,
consider for moment the cost of losing a talented employee. There's the
cost
of finding a replacement. The cost of training the replacement. The cost of
not having someone to do the job in the meantime. The loss of clients and
contacts the person had with the industry. The loss of morale in co-
workers.
The loss of trade secrets this person may now share with others.

Plus, of course, the loss of the company's reputation. Every person who
leaves a corporation then becomes its ambassador, for better or for worse.
We all know of large IT companies that people would love to join and large
television companies few want to go near. In both cases, former employees
have left to tell their tales.

"Any company trying to compete must figure out a way to engage the mind of
every employee," Jack Welch of GE once said. Much of a company's value lies
"between the ears of its employees". If it's bleeding talent, it's bleeding
value. Unfortunately, many senior executives busy travelling the world,
signing new deals and developing a vision for the company, have little idea
of what may be going on at home.

That deep within an organization that otherwise does all the right things,
one man could be driving its best people away.