Early this year, Arun, an old friend who is a senior software designer, got
an offer from a prestigious international firm to work in its India
operations developing specialized software. He was thrilled by the offer.
He
had heard a lot about the CEO of this
company, charismatic man often quoted in the business press for his
visionary attitude. The salary was great. The company had all the right
systems in place employee-friendly human resources (HR) policies, a
spanking
new office, the very best technology, even a canteen that served superb
food. Twice Arun was sent abroad for training. "My learning curve is the
sharpest it's ever been," he said soon after he joined. "It's a real high
working with such cutting edge technology."
Last week, less than eight months after he joined, Arun walked out of the
job. He has no other offer in hand but he said he couldn't take it anymore.
Nor, apparently, could several other people in his department who have also
quit recently.
The CEO is distressed about the high employee turnover. He's distressed
about the money he's spent in training them. He's
distressed because he can't figure out what happened. Why did this talented
employee leave despite a top salary? Arun quit for
the same reason that drives many good people away.
The answer lies in one of the largest studies undertaken by the Gallup
Organization. The study surveyed over a million employees and 80,000
managers and was published in a book called First Break All The Rules. It
came up with this surprising finding: If you're losing good people, look to
their immediate supervisor. More than any other single reason, he is the
reason people stay and thrive in an organization. And he's the reason why
they quit, taking their knowledge, experience and contacts with them.
Often,
straight to the competition.
"Many times people leave managers not companies," write the authors Marcus
Buckingham and Curt Coffman. "So much money has been thrown at the
challenge
of keeping good people - in the form of better pay, better perks and better
training - when, in the end, turnover is mostly manager issue." If you have
a turnover problem, look first to your managers. Are they driving people
away? Beyond a point, an employee's primary need has less to do with money,
and more to do with how he's treated and how valued he feels. Much of this
depends directly on the immediate manager. And yet, bad bosses seem to
happen to good people everywhere.
A Fortune magazine survey some years ago found that nearly 75 per cent of
employees have suffered at the hands of difficult superiors. You can leave
one job to find - you guessed it, another wolf in a pin-stripe suit in the
next one. Of all the workplace stressors, a bad boss is possibly the worst,
directly impacting the emotional health and productivity of employees.
Here are some all-too common tales from the battlefield: Dev, an engineer,
still shudders as he recalls the almost daily firings his
boss subjected him to, usually in front of his subordinates. His boss
emasculated him with personal, insulting remarks. In the face of such rage,
Dev completely lost the courage to speak up. But when he reached home
depressed, he poured himself a few drinks, and magically, became as abusive
as the boss himself. Only, it would come out on his wife and children. Not
only was his work life in the doldrums, his marriage began cracking up too.
Another employee Rajat recalls the Chinese torture his boss put him through
after a minor disagreement. He cut him off completely. He bypassed him in
any decision that needed to be taken. "He stopped sending me any papers or
files," says Rajat. "It was humiliating sitting at an empty table. I knew
nothing and no one told me anything." Unable to bear this corporate
Siberia, he finally quit.
HR experts say that of all the abuses, employees find public humiliation
the
most intolerable. The first time, an employee may not leave, but a thought
has been planted. The second time, that thought gets strengthened. The
third
time, he starts looking for another job. When people cannot retort openly
in
anger, they do so by passive aggression. By digging their heels in and
slowing down. By doing only what they are told to do and no more. By
omitting to give the boss crucial information.
Dev says: "If you work for a jerk, you basically want to get him into
trouble. You don't have your heart and soul in the job."
Different managers can stress out employees in different ways - by being
too
controlling, too suspicious, too pushy, too critical, too nit-picky. But
they forget that workers are not fixed assets, they are free agents. When
this goes on too long, an employee will quit - often over seemingly trivial
issue.
It isn't the 100th blow that knocks a good man down. It's the 99 that went
before. And while it's true that people leave jobs for all kinds of reasons
- for better opportunities or for circumstantial reasons, many who leave
would have stayed - had it not been for one man constantly telling them, as
Arun's boss did: "You are dispensable. I can find dozens like you." While
it
seems like there are plenty of other fish especially in today's waters,
consider for moment the cost of losing a talented employee. There's the
cost
of finding a replacement. The cost of training the replacement. The cost of
not having someone to do the job in the meantime. The loss of clients and
contacts the person had with the industry. The loss of morale in co-
workers.
The loss of trade secrets this person may now share with others.
Plus, of course, the loss of the company's reputation. Every person who
leaves a corporation then becomes its ambassador, for better or for worse.
We all know of large IT companies that people would love to join and large
television companies few want to go near. In both cases, former employees
have left to tell their tales.
"Any company trying to compete must figure out a way to engage the mind of
every employee," Jack Welch of GE once said. Much of a company's value lies
"between the ears of its employees". If it's bleeding talent, it's bleeding
value. Unfortunately, many senior executives busy travelling the world,
signing new deals and developing a vision for the company, have little idea
of what may be going on at home.
That deep within an organization that otherwise does all the right things,
one man could be driving its best people away.
Monday, June 20, 2005
Meaning of your name
Instructions: What you do is find out what each letter of your name means.
Then connect all the meanings and it describes YOU. (It's TRUE!!) (Isn't it
GREAT!!)
PS: If you have double or triple letters, just count the meaning once.
For Example: D A V E
D You have trouble trusting people.
A You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
V You have a very good physique and looks.
E You are a very exciting person.
A You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
B You are always cautious when it comes to meeting new people.
C You definitely have a partier side in you; don't be shy to show it.
D You have trouble trusting people.
E You are a very exciting person.
F Everyone loves you.
G You have excellent ways of viewing people.
H You are not judgmental.
I You are always smiling and making others smile.
J Jealously
K You like to try new things.
L Love is something you deeply believe in.
M Success comes easily to you.
N You like to work, but you always want a break.
O You are very open-minded.
P You are very friendly and understanding.
Q You are a hypocrite.
R You are a social butterfly.
S You are very broad-minded.
T You have an attitude, a big one.
U You feel like you have to equal up to people's standards.
V You have a very good physique and looks.
W You like your privacy.
X You never let people tell you what to do.
Y You cause a lot of trouble.
Z You're always fighting with someone
Then connect all the meanings and it describes YOU. (It's TRUE!!) (Isn't it
GREAT!!)
PS: If you have double or triple letters, just count the meaning once.
For Example: D A V E
D You have trouble trusting people.
A You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
V You have a very good physique and looks.
E You are a very exciting person.
A You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
B You are always cautious when it comes to meeting new people.
C You definitely have a partier side in you; don't be shy to show it.
D You have trouble trusting people.
E You are a very exciting person.
F Everyone loves you.
G You have excellent ways of viewing people.
H You are not judgmental.
I You are always smiling and making others smile.
J Jealously
K You like to try new things.
L Love is something you deeply believe in.
M Success comes easily to you.
N You like to work, but you always want a break.
O You are very open-minded.
P You are very friendly and understanding.
Q You are a hypocrite.
R You are a social butterfly.
S You are very broad-minded.
T You have an attitude, a big one.
U You feel like you have to equal up to people's standards.
V You have a very good physique and looks.
W You like your privacy.
X You never let people tell you what to do.
Y You cause a lot of trouble.
Z You're always fighting with someone
Accurate Quiz
AMAZINGLY ACCURATE
Whatever you do, don't cheat!
CHINESE HOROSCOPE :
THE YEAR OF THE IRON DRAGON,
WISHING YOU PROSPERITY AND GOOD FORTUNE IN THE
CHINESE NEW YEAR
FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS -
DO NOT CHEAT
OR IT WON'T WORK AND
YOU WILL WISH YOU HADN`T.
TAKE 3 MINUTES
TRY THIS - IT WILL FREAK YOU OUT.
THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO ME SAID
HER WISH CAME TRUE 10 MINUTES AFTER SHE FORWARDED THE EMAIL
NO CHEATING !!!!
THIS GAME HAS A FUNNY / CREEPY OUTCOME.
DO NOT READ AHEAD, JUST DO IT.
IT TAKES ABOUT 3 MINUTES - WORTH A TRY
1st. Get PEN and PAPER
2nd. WHEN CHOOSING NAMES, MAKE SURE THEY ARE REAL PEOPLE THAT YOU ACTUALLY KNOW
3rd. GO WITH YOUR FIRST INSTINCTS !!!!! Very important for good results.
4th. SCROLL DOWN
ONE LINE AT THE TIME
DON`T READ AHEAD
otherwise
YOU WILL RUIN THE FUN.
1. On a blank sheet of paper, WRITE NUMBERS 1 through 11 in a COLUMN on the LEFT.
2. BESIDE the NUMBERS 1 & 2,
WRITE DOWN ANY
2 NUMBERS YOU WANT.
DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE NUMBER?
3. BESIDE the NUMBERS 3 & 7,
WRITE DOWN THE NAMES OF TWO MEMBERS
OF THE OPPOSITE SEX.
CAUTION: DO NOT LOOK AHEAD or IT WILL NOT TURN OUT RIGHT
4. WRITE ANYONES NAME
(like FRIENDS or FAMILY...)
next to 4, 5, & 6.
DON`T CHEAT OR YOU`LL BE UPSET THAT YOU DID
5. WRITE down FOUR SONG TITLES in 8, 9, 10, & 11
6. Finally,
MAKE A WISH
ARE YOU READY?
HERE IS THE
KEY TO THE GAME
1. THE NUMBER of PEOPLE YOU MUST TELL ABOUT THIS GAME is found in
SPACE 2
2. THE PERSON IN SPACE
3 IS THE ONE YOU LOVE
3. THE PERSON YOU LIKE but your relationship CANNOT WORK is in
SPACE 7
4. YOU CARE MOST about the PERSON you put in
SPACE 4
5. THE PERSON YOU NAME IN NUMBER 5 IS THE ONE WHO
KNOWS YOU VERY WELL.
6. THE PERSON YOU NAMED IN 6 IS THE YOUR
LUCKY STAR
7. THE SONG IN 8 IS THE SONG THAT MATCHES WITH THE
PERSON IN NUMBER 3
8. THE TITLE IN 9 IS THE SONG FOR THE
PERSON IN 7
9. THE 10TH SPACE IS THE SONG THAT TELLS YOU MOST ABOUT
YOUR MIND
10. AND 11 IS THE SONG TELLING HOW YOU
FEEL ABOUT LIFE
11. NUMBER 1 IS YOUR
LUCKY NUMBER
SEND THIS TO A MINIMUM OF
10 PEOPLE
WITHIN AN HOUR OF READING THIS.
IF YOU DO, YOUR WISH WILL COME TRUE.
IF YOU FAIL TO, IT WILL BECOME THE OPPOSITE
STRANGE HOW IT SEEMS TO WORK.
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Extracts from an MBA lesson
A butcher watching over his shop is really surprised when he sees a dog
coming inside the shop. He shoos him away. But later, the dog is back
again.
So, he goes over to the dog and notices it has a note in its mouth. He
takes the note and it reads "Can I have 12 sausages and a leg of lamb,
please".
The dog has money in its mouth, as well. The butcher looks inside and,
lo and behold, there is a ten dollar note there. So he takes the money
and puts the sausages and lamb in a bag, placing it in the dog's mouth.
The butcher is so impressed, and since it's about closing time, he
decides to shut the shop and follow the dog. So off he goes. The dog is
walking down the street, when it comes to a
level crossing; the dog puts down the bag, jumps up and presses the button.
Then it waits patiently, bag in mouth, for the lights to turn. They do,
and it walks across the road, with he butcher following him all the
way. The dog then comes to a bus stop, and starts looking at the
timetable. The butcher is in awe as the dog stops a bus by pulling its
left leg up and gets in it.
The butcher follows the dog into the bus. Then the dog shows a ticket
which is tied to its belt to the bus conductor. The butcher is nearly
fainting at this sight, so are the other passengers in the bus. The dog
then sits near the driver's seat looking outside waiting for the bus
stop to come. As soon as the stop is in sight, the dog stands and wags
its tail to inform the conductor. Then, without waiting for the bus to
stop completely, it jumps out of the bus and runs to a house very close
to the stop. It opens the big Iron Gate and rushes inside towards the door.
As it approaches the wooden door, the dog suddenly changes its mind and
heads towards the garden. It goes to the window, and beats its head
against it several times, walks back, jumps off, and waits at the door.
The butcher watches as a big guy opens the door, and starts abusing the
dog, kicking him and punching him, and swearing at him.
The butcher surprised with this, runs up, and stops the guy. "What in
heaven s name are you doing? The dog is a genius. He could be on TV,
for the life of me!", to which the guy responds: "You call this clever?
This is the second time this week that this stupid dog's forgotten his
key."
Moral of the story:
You may continue to exceed onlooker's expectations but shall always
fall short of the boss' expectations. It's dog's life after all.........
coming inside the shop. He shoos him away. But later, the dog is back
again.
So, he goes over to the dog and notices it has a note in its mouth. He
takes the note and it reads "Can I have 12 sausages and a leg of lamb,
please".
The dog has money in its mouth, as well. The butcher looks inside and,
lo and behold, there is a ten dollar note there. So he takes the money
and puts the sausages and lamb in a bag, placing it in the dog's mouth.
The butcher is so impressed, and since it's about closing time, he
decides to shut the shop and follow the dog. So off he goes. The dog is
walking down the street, when it comes to a
level crossing; the dog puts down the bag, jumps up and presses the button.
Then it waits patiently, bag in mouth, for the lights to turn. They do,
and it walks across the road, with he butcher following him all the
way. The dog then comes to a bus stop, and starts looking at the
timetable. The butcher is in awe as the dog stops a bus by pulling its
left leg up and gets in it.
The butcher follows the dog into the bus. Then the dog shows a ticket
which is tied to its belt to the bus conductor. The butcher is nearly
fainting at this sight, so are the other passengers in the bus. The dog
then sits near the driver's seat looking outside waiting for the bus
stop to come. As soon as the stop is in sight, the dog stands and wags
its tail to inform the conductor. Then, without waiting for the bus to
stop completely, it jumps out of the bus and runs to a house very close
to the stop. It opens the big Iron Gate and rushes inside towards the door.
As it approaches the wooden door, the dog suddenly changes its mind and
heads towards the garden. It goes to the window, and beats its head
against it several times, walks back, jumps off, and waits at the door.
The butcher watches as a big guy opens the door, and starts abusing the
dog, kicking him and punching him, and swearing at him.
The butcher surprised with this, runs up, and stops the guy. "What in
heaven s name are you doing? The dog is a genius. He could be on TV,
for the life of me!", to which the guy responds: "You call this clever?
This is the second time this week that this stupid dog's forgotten his
key."
Moral of the story:
You may continue to exceed onlooker's expectations but shall always
fall short of the boss' expectations. It's dog's life after all.........
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
How much you flirt??
Late at night, you are partying with a friend of the opposite sex. If you don't leave now, you would miss the last bus. What would you do?
a. Who cares...continue to party -- Go To Question 2
b. Ask if he would send you home -- Go To Question 3
c. Say "Good-Bye" to him and run after the bus -- Go To Question 4
While having a meal with a friend, you saw that what he/she had ordered seemed quite delicious. Would you ask to have a taste of his/her food?
a. Yes --- Go to Question 5
b. No --- Go to Question 6
You saw something nice while shopping but you don't have the means to buy it. Would you...
a. Shrug your shoulders and forget it. --- Go to Question 7
b. Go ahead and flash your credit card --- Go to Question 6
You have a job offer that is paying better than your present job. You would...
- It’s a good offer. Type your resignation letter now
- The present boss is treating you well. Stay cause of loyalty!
Your views on school regulations are...
a. Would never compromise to them. --- Go To Question 9.
b. See it there is loopholes and try to get thru them.
c. Would definitely keep to them! --- Go To Question 12.
A person from the opposite sex expresses his/her love for you would...
a. Smile and think highly of your charms --- Go to Question 9.
b. Reject him/her and keep a distance --- Go To Question 10.
c. Run off without even answering! --- Go To Question 12.
You are in your boyfriend/girlfriend's bedroom and you saw a photo of him/her with his/her old flame. You would...
a. See and forget because it’s all in the past. --- Go to Question 10.
b. Get real mad and leave the room. --- Go to Question 11.
Would you rewrite a lecture note again because your handwriting is untidy?
a. Yes --- Go To Question 12.
b. No --- Go To Question 11.
When wearing a pair of mini skirts/ shorts, what would u choose as the top?
a. A tight fitting tee --- Go to Question 13.
b. A loose fitting tee --- Go to Question 14.
On a tour, the tour guide specifically tells you not to venture to a certain area because it’s dangerous. Would you out of curiosity, go ahead without listening to him?
a. Yes --- go to Question 13.
b. No --- go to Question 14.
When out with a friend of the same sex, would you hold hands and walk?
a. Yes ---- Go to Question 15.
b. No ---- Go to Question 16.
Wearing a newly bought swimsuit, would you feel especially eye-catching' and 'sharp' when walking by the pool?
a. Yes --- go to Question 14.
b. No --- go to Question 16.
Are you the impulsive type? Always acting on the instant you get the idea without thinking carefully.
a. Yes ---- Type A
b. No ---- Go to Question 14.
Do you still maintain friendship with your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend?
a. Yes ---- Type B
b. No ----- Go to Question 15.
Every time you pack for a tour, you would always end up packing more than what you need?
a. Yes ---- go to Question 16.
b. No --- Type C
Do you mind sharing the same cup with others?
a. Yes --- Type D
b. No ---- Type C
END OF QUESTIONS
RESULT
TYPE A --- 90% FLIRT
You fall in love easily most of the time getting trapped in a triangular relationship. Adding to the fact that you do not commit to your partner, you enjoy having suitors. To put it simply, YOU ARE FAR FROM FAITHFUL.
TYPE B --- 70% FLIRT
You are partially flirtatious by nature. You enjoy being pampered and pursued by others so occasionally you would harbor the thoughts of 'stepping on 2 boats'. BUT...as you are sensitive to your partner, you do try to restrain yourself.
TYPE C --- 40% FLIRT
You are shy by nature and have only a small circle of friends. This attributes to the fact that you would not have a high chance of getting trapped in a triangular relationship.
TYPE D --- 0% FLIRT
You have high morality and it’s against infidelity. Whoever is with you is the most fortunate but pray that your partner does not belong to any of the above group!
Monday, December 20, 2004
When You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out in Your Arms
On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom.
That was the scene ten years ago. The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid, I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affections between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning, we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.
Our marriage seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.
Dew came into my life.
It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her.
Dew said, "You are the kind of man who catches every girl's eye."
Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. During our initial married life, my wife said, "Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls."
Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn't help doing so. I moved Dew's hands aside and said, "You go ahead and select some furniture, O.K.? I've got something to do at the office."
Obviously she was unhappy because I had promised to go with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be impossible to me.
However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly, she is a good wife. Every evening, she busies herself preparing dinner. I will sit in front of the TV. After dinner, we watch TV together. Or, I will sit before the computer, visualizing Dew's body. Those were the mean of my entertainment.
One day I said to her in a joking way, "Suppose we divorce, what will you do?"
She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.
One day, when my wife came to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staffs looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking to her. She seemed to get the hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.
Once again, Dew said to me, "He Ning, divorce her, O.K? Then we live together."
I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.
When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand.
"I ve got something to tell you," I said.
She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking.
"I want a divorce," I raised a serious topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be much annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, "Why?"
"I'm serious," I avoided her question. This so-called answer made her angry. She threw down the chopsticks and shouted at me, "You are not a man!"
That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart only had Dew.
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would soon become a stranger.
But I could not take back what I had said.
Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had me obsessed for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.
One late night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fell asleep quickly. When I woke up in the middle of the night, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.
She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month's time before divorce, and in the month's time we must live as normal life as possible. Her reason was simple: Our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage has broken. Not yet!
She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, "He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day?"
This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, "I remember."
"You carried me in your arms," she continued, "so, I have a requirement. That is you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning."
I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage in a romantic way.
I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd.
"No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce," she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So, when I carried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, "Daddy is holding Mommy in his arms."
His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten metres with her in my arms.
She closed her eyes and said softly, "Let us start from today, don't tell our son." I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for a bus, I drove to office.
On the second day, both of us reacted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face.
On the third day, she whispered to me, "The outside garden has been demolished. Be careful when you pass there."
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became vaguer.
On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc.
I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn't tell Dew about this.
I felt it was easier now to carry her. "Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger." I said to her, "It seems not difficult to carry you now. She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, "All my
dresses have grown fatter."
I smiled. But suddenly, I realized that it was because she was thinner now. That is why I could carry her more easily. It's not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously, I reached out a hand to touch her hair.
Our son came in at the moment.
"Dad, it s time to carry mum out," he said.
To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and she hugged him tightly. I turned away because I was afraid I would change my mind.
I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hands surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our home on our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.
On the last day, when I held her in my arms, I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone back to school.
She said, "Actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old."
I held her tightly and said, "Both you and I didn't notice that our lives had lack such intimacy."
I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door.
I said to her, "Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious."
She looked at me, astonished. Then she touched my forehead.
"You got no fever," she said.
I moved her hand off my head. "Sorry, Dew," I said, "I can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you."
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove to the office.
When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of red roses for my wife, which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me to write the greeting words on the card.
I smiled and wrote, "I'll carry you out every morning until we are old."
Saturday, December 18, 2004
Quiz For Kids
Good one... read till the end..
Sardarji is in a Quiz Contest trying to win prize money of Rs.1 crore.
The questions are as follows:
1) How long was the 100 yr war?
A) 116
B) 99
C) 100
D) 150
Sardar says "I will skip this"
2) In which country are the Panama hats made?
A) BRASIL
B) CHILE
C) PANAMA
D) EQUADOR
Sardar asks for help from the University students
3) In which month do the Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
A) JANUARY
B) SEPTEMBER
C) OCTOBER
D) NOVEMBER
Sardar asks for help from general public
4) Which of these was King George VI first name?
A) EDER
B) ALBERT
C) GEORGE
D) MANOEL
Sardar asks for lucky cards
5) The Canary islands, in the Pacific Ocean, has its name based on which animal:
A) CANARY BIRD
B) KANGAROO
C) PUPPY
D) RAT
Sardar gives up.
SCROLL DOWN.......
If u think you are indeed clever and laughed at Sardar's replies, then please check the answers below:
1) The 100 year war lasted 116 years from 1337-1453
2) The Panama hat is made in Equador
3) The October revolution is celebrated in November
4) King George's first name was Albert. In 1936 he changed his name.
5) Puppy. The Latin name is INSULARIA CANARIA which means islands of the puppies.
Now tell me who's the dumb one....Don't ever laugh at a Sardar
again.
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
Why Women Cry
Why are you crying, a young boy asked his Mom?
"Because I'm a woman," she told him.
"I don't understand," he said.
His Mom just hugged him and said,
"And you never will, but that's O.K.".......
Later the little boy asked his father,
"Why does Mom seem to cry for no reason?".
"All women cry for no reason," was all his Dad could say......
The little boy grew up and became a man,
still wondering why women cry.
Finally he put in a call to God and when God got back to him, he asked "God, why do women cry so easily?"
GOD answered......
"When I made woman,
I decided she had to be special.
I made her shoulders
strong enough to carry
the weight of the world, yet,
made her arms gentle enough to give comfort... !
I gave her the inner strength
to endure childbirth
and the rejection
that many times will come
even from her own children.
I gave her a hardness
that allows her
to keep going and take care
of her family and friends,
even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue without
complaining....
I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all
circumstances. Even when her child has hurt her badly....
She has the very special power to make a child's boo-boo feel better and
to quell a teenager's anxieties and fears....
I gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faults
and I fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart....
I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but
sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him
unfalteringly....
For all of this hard work,
I also gave her a tear to shed.
It is hers to use
whenever needed and
it is her only weakness....
When you see her cry,
tell her how much you love her, and all she does for everyone, and even though
she may still cry, you will have made her heart feel good.
She is special!
Please send this to all the women you know, and those with mothers,
sisters, and special women in their lives.
But, also send this to men so they will understand about what a
wonderful thing a woman is.
Each day is a mountain that must be climbed; with courage each step
gets easier.
Love ur Mother Always
"Because I'm a woman," she told him.
"I don't understand," he said.
His Mom just hugged him and said,
"And you never will, but that's O.K.".......
Later the little boy asked his father,
"Why does Mom seem to cry for no reason?".
"All women cry for no reason," was all his Dad could say......
The little boy grew up and became a man,
still wondering why women cry.
Finally he put in a call to God and when God got back to him, he asked "God, why do women cry so easily?"
GOD answered......
"When I made woman,
I decided she had to be special.
I made her shoulders
strong enough to carry
the weight of the world, yet,
made her arms gentle enough to give comfort... !
I gave her the inner strength
to endure childbirth
and the rejection
that many times will come
even from her own children.
I gave her a hardness
that allows her
to keep going and take care
of her family and friends,
even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue without
complaining....
I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all
circumstances. Even when her child has hurt her badly....
She has the very special power to make a child's boo-boo feel better and
to quell a teenager's anxieties and fears....
I gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faults
and I fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart....
I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but
sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him
unfalteringly....
For all of this hard work,
I also gave her a tear to shed.
It is hers to use
whenever needed and
it is her only weakness....
When you see her cry,
tell her how much you love her, and all she does for everyone, and even though
she may still cry, you will have made her heart feel good.
She is special!
Please send this to all the women you know, and those with mothers,
sisters, and special women in their lives.
But, also send this to men so they will understand about what a
wonderful thing a woman is.
Each day is a mountain that must be climbed; with courage each step
gets easier.
Love ur Mother Always
Monday, November 15, 2004
Personality Quiz
One day, you get lost in the wilderness while travelling. It gets dark and
you have no choice but to seek refuge in a small hut nearby. The owner
tells
you all his rooms are haunted. Which room will you choose? (it is going to
be very interesting.. ha ha haha)
The room where:
Room (A) - a human head stares at you maliciously from outside your window
Room (B) - the bathroom door creaks open and close, and there are sounds
of
a woman sighing
Room (C) - the bed starts rocking violently whenever you try to sleep on
it
Room (D) - a headless ghost sits at the foot of your bed when you awake in
the middle of the night
MAKE ONE COMFORTABLE (?!) CHOICE BEFORE YOU SCROLL DOWN FOR THE
EXPLANATION.
IT'S QUITE AN INTERESTING ANSWER.......... Scroll down for explanation.
A) A human head stares at you maliciously from outside your window.
Explanation: You need a lot of private space and are more suitable to work
alone. You look for stability i.e. a job that is not easily affected by
external factors and provides steady income.
E.g. Doctor, lawyer, SOHO, teacher, administrator.
B) The bathroom door creaks open and close, and there are sounds of a
woman
sighing.
Explanation: You prefer a stable job that does not require you to run
around
or meet people. You are willing to be subjected to pressure from your
bosses
if that lets you sit in an air-conditioned office all day.
E.g. Civil servant, engineer, computer engineer, accountant.
C) The bed starts rocking violently whenever you try to sleep on it.
Explanation: You are an active person who cannot sit still and does not
like
to be restrained. You are easily adaptable to a job which is full of
changes
and not routine.
E.g. Marketing, insurance, sales, delivery man, chauffer.
D) A headless ghost sits at the foot of your bed when you awake in the
middle of the night.
Explanation: You suit jobs that need you to meet people, especially large
crowds. Your job will depend on these people, but you will not know who
they
are
E.g. superstar, politician, PR, counter/frontline sales
you have no choice but to seek refuge in a small hut nearby. The owner
tells
you all his rooms are haunted. Which room will you choose? (it is going to
be very interesting.. ha ha haha)
The room where:
Room (A) - a human head stares at you maliciously from outside your window
Room (B) - the bathroom door creaks open and close, and there are sounds
of
a woman sighing
Room (C) - the bed starts rocking violently whenever you try to sleep on
it
Room (D) - a headless ghost sits at the foot of your bed when you awake in
the middle of the night
MAKE ONE COMFORTABLE (?!) CHOICE BEFORE YOU SCROLL DOWN FOR THE
EXPLANATION.
IT'S QUITE AN INTERESTING ANSWER.......... Scroll down for explanation.
A) A human head stares at you maliciously from outside your window.
Explanation: You need a lot of private space and are more suitable to work
alone. You look for stability i.e. a job that is not easily affected by
external factors and provides steady income.
E.g. Doctor, lawyer, SOHO, teacher, administrator.
B) The bathroom door creaks open and close, and there are sounds of a
woman
sighing.
Explanation: You prefer a stable job that does not require you to run
around
or meet people. You are willing to be subjected to pressure from your
bosses
if that lets you sit in an air-conditioned office all day.
E.g. Civil servant, engineer, computer engineer, accountant.
C) The bed starts rocking violently whenever you try to sleep on it.
Explanation: You are an active person who cannot sit still and does not
like
to be restrained. You are easily adaptable to a job which is full of
changes
and not routine.
E.g. Marketing, insurance, sales, delivery man, chauffer.
D) A headless ghost sits at the foot of your bed when you awake in the
middle of the night.
Explanation: You suit jobs that need you to meet people, especially large
crowds. Your job will depend on these people, but you will not know who
they
are
E.g. superstar, politician, PR, counter/frontline sales
Sunday, October 31, 2004
Life
George Carlin was an American comedian of the 70's and
80's. He was
known to be a little foul-mouthed and it is
fascinating that after the
death of his wife and 9-11 he would write the
following.
A wonderful Message by George Carlin:
The paradox of our time in history is that we have
taller buildings but
shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower
viewpoints.
We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy
less. We have
bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences,
but less time.
We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge,
but less
judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more
medicine, but less
wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too
recklessly, laugh too little,
drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get
up too tired, read too
little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our
values. We talk
too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life.
We've added years to life
not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon
and back, but have trouble
crossing the street to meet a new neighbour.
We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've
done larger
things, but not better things.
We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul.
We've conquered the atom,
but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less.
We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to
rush, but not to
wait. We build more computers to hold more
information, to produce
more copies than ever, but we communicate less and
less.
These are the times of fast foods and slow
digestion, big men and small
character, steep profits and shallow relationships.
These are the days of two
incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken
homes.
These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers,
throwaway
morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and
pills that do
everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time
when there is
much in the showroom window and nothing in the
stockroom.
A time when technology can bring this letter to
you, and a time when you can
choose either to share this insight, or to just hit
delete.
ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life, is not measured by the number of breaths we
take, but by the moments
that take our breath away.
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships
When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.
A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call. She answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was silence. She repeated, "PUB."
There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she Heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from my Husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is." Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just "hello" instead of "PUB".
-----------------------------------------------------------------
NO POINTING FINGERS
A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?" The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticise your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you."
We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at.
This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves.
If we forgive others, others will ignore our mistake too.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?
A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested "I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one."
The SDU officer said, "Your requirements, please." "Oh, good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest."
The officer listened carefully and replied, "I understand you need television."
There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife.
Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses.
The nightmare begins.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
NO OVERPOWERING
Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another, or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage.
Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character."
It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness.
It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations..
----------------------------------------------------------------------
RIGHT SPEECH
There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other, we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party.
A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, "Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school." On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker." She answered, "You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and not you."
Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
PERSONAL PERCEPTION
Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be another man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home, a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey?"
Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey.
He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is the head of family.
How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey.
Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman."
The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey.
Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you."
Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders. It seems to be the only choice left.
Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river.
You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you.
Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future.
Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear..
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BE PATIENT
This is a true story which happened in the States.
A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck.
The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's hands into pulp as punishment.
When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital. Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands.
When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, " Daddy, I'm sorry about your truck." Then he asked, "but when are my fingers going to grow back?"
The father went home & committed suicide. Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge. Think first before u lose your patience with someone u love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't.
Too often we fail to recognise the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.
People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Pause and ponder. Think before you act. Be patient.
Forgive & forget.
Love one and all.
If you judge people, you have no time to love them.
A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call. She answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was silence. She repeated, "PUB."
There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she Heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from my Husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is." Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just "hello" instead of "PUB".
-----------------------------------------------------------------
NO POINTING FINGERS
A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?" The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticise your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you."
We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at.
This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves.
If we forgive others, others will ignore our mistake too.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?
A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested "I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one."
The SDU officer said, "Your requirements, please." "Oh, good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest."
The officer listened carefully and replied, "I understand you need television."
There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife.
Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses.
The nightmare begins.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
NO OVERPOWERING
Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another, or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage.
Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character."
It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness.
It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations..
----------------------------------------------------------------------
RIGHT SPEECH
There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other, we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party.
A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, "Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school." On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker." She answered, "You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and not you."
Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
PERSONAL PERCEPTION
Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be another man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home, a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey?"
Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey.
He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is the head of family.
How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey.
Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman."
The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey.
Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you."
Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders. It seems to be the only choice left.
Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river.
You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you.
Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future.
Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear..
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BE PATIENT
This is a true story which happened in the States.
A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck.
The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's hands into pulp as punishment.
When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital. Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands.
When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, " Daddy, I'm sorry about your truck." Then he asked, "but when are my fingers going to grow back?"
The father went home & committed suicide. Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge. Think first before u lose your patience with someone u love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't.
Too often we fail to recognise the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.
People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Pause and ponder. Think before you act. Be patient.
Forgive & forget.
Love one and all.
If you judge people, you have no time to love them.
Monday, October 04, 2004
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)